suffering

So, on occasion, I put down all my heathen books and worldly thoughts and take a crack at this Christian thing ;) I have recently been sluggishly moving through Crazy Love by Francis Chan. This morning I was reading a chapter while eating a delicious omelet and I started thinking. Welcome to my journey of thoughts on a Tuesday.

"[I] want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death"

-Philippians 3:10

"For a long time this verse had just too much Jesus for me. In my opinion, the verse should have ended after the word resurrection, so I could have an appealing, popular Jesus who didn't suffer."

-Francis Chan

[the thought doesn't end here, he doesn't really think this, haha]

Jesus suffers. Jesus suffered. We suffer. To me, this is one of the craziest thoughts. God, king of the universe and all things good all over everywhere always, suffers. To a girl who has known a lot of suffering and has seriously embraced that, this is a comforting and unsettling thought. When I first returned to the house here, one of the things I was hit with hardest was the fact that Jesus knows and understands our suffering. It's a simple sentence, but once it really hits you it will blow your mind. It did for me. Blew the top right off of who I thought God was.

He understands what it's like to cry in your bed at night alone. Because he's been there. And he gets it when I get pissed off for seemingly little reasons and want to throw in the towel. He has felt incredibly deep betrayal, hurt, and abandonment. He gets it. I don't want a God who is far off, sterile, and doesn't know the depths of my pain as intimately as having experienced it himself. I want a God who is rough, has a little figurative dirt on his face, strong, and instead of sympathetic, empathetic. And this is exactly the God I've got. And he treasures and loves me like whoa.

I used to pray for suffering. People would laugh because a few weeks later, when my family was in shambles again and everything seemed to be falling apart and I was freaking out, they would say "Sarah, your prayers have been answered!" We learn a lot about ourselves through suffering. A hell of a lot more than we do when things are peachy. People these days don't usually call others out and make fun of them blatantly for following Christ. But when the rest of my friends fall away, as the usually do when I choose a different lifestyle, and I feel that slight sting of rejection, and it's for Christ, I share in what it felt like to be Jesus. That is a glorious thing. An honorable one.

We all have suffered a great deal that we didn't deserve. And God was there, experiencing it himself. Jesus suffered more than we can ever imagine, and he invites us to share in it with him. Because knowing, understanding, being a part of someone's suffering, is one of the most intimate experiences you can have with them. When you understand someone's pain, there is a bond that is a million times deeper than if you just patted them on the back and said "Oh, I'm so sorry that happened. You are so strong." Even if you can't take literal part in it, you can enter in to a place of practically being there, feeling everything. Christ invites us here! What the heck!! He knows us this deeply, and wants us to know him equally as well. This verse is not a hard one, not one you kinda want to skim over in a Bible study and not talk about, it is one to be CELEBRATED! The call to suffer is not weary, is not something to dread. It is something to enter in so freaking cheerfully your head wants to explode. GOD WANTS US TO KNOW HIM. Holy moley.

Most of American churches offer a Jesus who sits on a cloud with a lamb and showers all conservative Republicans who support war, hate abortion, and don't swear, with blessings abundant, and lots of money. But the Bible offers us a rough and tumble Jesus who walks in the darkest shadows and makes them light. Who fights off demons with his bare hands. Who suffers, and understands our suffering. To me, that Jesus is a whole lot more appealing to a Democrat who hates war, thinks we're fighting abortion the wrong way, cusses, and has $0.01 in her bank account.

Happy Tuesday :)